Father's Day & Lullaby of Hope - Tyler's Story

This is a guest post from Tyler who is the husband of one of our amazing core team members, Kylie.

Father’s Day is a time to celebrate fathers, to cherish fathers, to honor fathers that have passed, and to remember that being a father is a gift from God. For some of us, it is also a time to mourn babies we did not get the chance to father.

As much as I look forward to the crayon drawn pictures I receive every year for Father’s Day, I can’t help but miss the little fingers that never had the chance to draw; the hands I never held; the tears I never wiped away; and the scraped knees I never bandaged. Father’s Day is a celebration, but it is also a reminder of what could have been for many of us.

Four years ago, my wife and I suffered our first miscarriage. The immediacy of the loss was dramatic, we went from nursery design ideas to mourning in less than 24 hours. I felt as though I had failed.  I am commanded by God to be my wife’s protector and provider. Watching her be attacked by an invisible enemy and suffer through the physical and emotional symptoms of the miscarriage was a powerless feeling. There was nothing I could do to take the pain away or make it better.  I held her, and we cried.

Following the miscarriage, I needed to be strong for my wife and our infant daughter. I delayed my grief and put on a strong front until they were in a better place. We leaned on our small group, felt the prayers of many, and received a small gift from Lullaby of Hope that would forever change our lives. Lullaby of Hope came alongside us during our darkest days and shined a light on the characteristics of God that are difficult to see while mourning.

Reflecting on my journey thus far of being a father and suffering two miscarriages with my wife, I want to encourage all fathers. Let your families see you weep; squeeze your babies a little tighter; embrace your wife; grieve with your wife; pray for guidance from the Lord ; trust in the Lord; read the Word; and, most importantly, never forget God also lost a child. God sent His son to earth to die for us.  God is there for us in our darkest times because He too has felt the pain of losing a child.

Husband to Kylie, Core Team Member

Recommended reading:
Fathered by God by John Eldridge

krystalle wheeler