Curated gift boxes for women journeying through infertility, pregnancy or infant loss
Giving thanks in all circumstances
On November 28, 2017, I sat in the Emergency Room anxiously waiting for my name to be called. I was almost nine weeks pregnant with our second child. My only concern when I woke up that morning was keeping up with the “Giving Tuesday” social media posts I was in charge of for Lullaby of Hope.
Instead, I sat next to my husband, Zach, dreading the news I was sure we were about to receive.
As I sat there with increasing contractions, I thought about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the third chapter of Daniel. It’s always been one of my favorite stories from the Bible, but I never related to it more than in that moment.
I prepared myself to lose this child I had so impatiently prayed for. It felt like I was being thrown into the furnace and I wondered if God would save me, too. God could save us from this heartbreak, but if not, I had no doubt that He is still good. After hours of waiting, blood tests, and an empty ultrasound, we began a journey full of grief and worship.
The Lord sent me a simple gift in those first few moments. When our nurse returned to give us our final paperwork, I shared Lullaby of Hope with her. Before we left the room, she told me that our loss would be for a greater purpose.
In that moment, it felt as though the Lord had spoken directly to me through her. As I deeply mourned the loss of our child, I found myself praising God for allowing me to carry that life for a few weeks. I understood more clearly than ever that the trials we walk through can be the furnace that refines us rather than burns us.